Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
PART I
Chapter 1: My Personal Journey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
The First Whisper • 3
Finding the Rainbow • 5
The Life You Were Meant to Live • 8
Chapter 2: Unfinished Business . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
Breaking the Loop • 14
What Is Unfinished Business? • 15
Chapter 3: Under the Unfinished . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
Unfinished Business Is Universal • 24
What Is Grief and How Is It Connected to UFB? • 25
No t All Grief Is the Same, but
It All Matters the Same • 25
Ho w the Unfinished Business Program
Is Different • 30
Chapter 4: Understanding the Whole . . . . . . . . . 32
Soul • 34
The Conscious Mind • 36
The Unconscious Mind • 37
Th e Three Brains Theory: How Our Body
Communicates • 39
Bioenergetics • 41
The Soma • 42
Bringing It All Together • 43
Chapter 5: Program Overview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
What to Expect • 49
Things to Keep in Mind • 51
PART II
Chapter 6: Rethink . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
Prework: Tilling the Soil • 58
Homework Follow-Up • 63
Higher Self-Talk • 63
Chapter 7: Lesson 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
Why We Are the Way We Are • 67
Models, Mantras, and Beliefs • 68
Le sson 1 Homework: Identifying Your Models,
Mantras, and Beliefs • 74
Homework Follow-Up • 78
Higher Self-Talk • 78
Chapter 8: Lesson 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
The AACTs of Life • 82
Where Our AACTs Come From • 84
Belonging and Shame • 86
Le sson 2 Homework: Naming Our AACTs and
Taking Responsibility • 91
Cr itical Notes Before You Do Your Homework
for This Chapter • 101
Homework Follow-Up • 102
Higher Self-Talk • 103
Chapter 9: Lesson 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105
What Is Charge? • 109
What Is Incomplete Charge? • 110
How Charge Shows Up • 113
Why Charge Matters • 114
Charge Changers vs. Charge Choices • 117
How Charge Starts Getting Blocked • 119
The Hunt for Charge Changers • 121
Short-Term Gains, Long-Term Losses • 123
Overcharged vs. Undercharged • 125
Common Charge Changers • 126
Taking Total Responsibility: Revisited • 132
Le sson 3 Homework: Understanding and
Diagnosing Charge • 133
Tips for How to Process Charge • 140
Moving into Charge Choices • 141
Homework Follow-Up • 142
Higher Self-Talk • 123
Chapter 10: Lesson 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144
Acute vs. Chronic Trauma • 147
Putting Words to Feelings • 154
The Four Rs • 157
Le sson 4 Homework: Completing the
Puzzle of You • 159
Homework Follow-Up • 170
Higher Self-Talk • 171
PART III
Chapter 11: Recap . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175
Chapter 12: Lesson 5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177
Who Is Taking Up the Most Room? • 179
Gone but Not Forgotten • 182
Complete or Repeat • 183
Le sson 5 Homework: Taking Responsibility
and Letting Go • 184
Homework Follow-Up • 195
Higher Self-Talk • 196
Chapter 13: Lesson 6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 197
Recharge to Discharge • 200
Saying Goodbye • 202
Lesson 6 Homework: Release Through Writing • 203
Homework Follow-Up • 207
Higher Self-Talk • 209
Chapter 14: Lesson 7 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 210
The Happier Ending • 212
Lesson 7 Homework: Your Happier Ending • 215
Homework Follow-Up • 221
Higher Self-Talk • 223
Chapter 15: Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225
APPENDIX 1: Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale . . . . . . . 229
APPENDIX 2: Stress Indicators Continued . . . . . . . . . 234
AP PENDIX 3: Identifying Your Heartbreak
Category and Type . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 236
APPENDIX 4: Terms Overview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 238
Endnotes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 243
Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 246
About the Author . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 253
